San Francisco Story
by Northernbloke
Summary: It's often said that it's better to bow out quietly than crash and burn spectacularly. In Cadet Josh Feldman's case, he was going to find out the hard way that it wasn't just his Starfleet career that was about to find itself spiralling out of control as the tangled battlefronts reached all the way to the the home of Starfleet itself.
1. Chapter 1

**AFTER **some serious consideration, and admittedly, that little drink I promised myself which had self indulgently ended up as my seventh bottle of some surprisingly good if obscure bottled beer from Epsilon Indi – I had made my mind up. I was through with San Francisco,. Through with even entertaining the most tenuous and specious notion that my current career path would end in anything but the most ungracious and jarring plummet to earth since what did for the dinosaurs.

I supped the remainder of the Indi brew and made my way to the end of the Pier 39. I gazed out into the starry moonlit night, the reflected lunar glow casting a silvery strip of light on the waters of San Francisco bay, almost as if pointing its way towards Alcatraz island out at sea. I idly supposed to myself, that this was kind of an inverted metaphor for what I was planning to do. I was planning to run in the opposite direction from my so – called prison.

I listlessly gazed the nighttime panorama from the piers edge, the Golden Gate bridge to my left, lit up, partly to show this famous landmark off, and partly from the red warning lights dotted about it to warn craft in the bay and in the local airspace. I never got tired of looking at the most famous land mark in the entire city; the most beautiful suspension bridge on Earth. The gateway to the bay itself, or the last man made beacon one would encounter before entering the mighty Pacific, depending on which direction you were going of course. In spite of everything I thought, I would miss the bridge.

I looked towards my right, at the main space port for the city, a purpose built island from reclaimed land, constructed upon what had once been called Treasure Island and Yearba Buena. The island was connected to San Francisco, and on the other side; to Oakland and Berkeley, by huge bridges that dwarfed the Golden gate. Though despite being technologically more sophisticated in their construction, I doubt many San Franciscoers held them as close to their hearts in quite the same way they did for Golden gate.

The spaceport was busy as usual, what with the city by the bay's importance in the greater scheme of things on Earth. The lights from the departing and approaching ships looked like fireflies buzzing around the island, although their flying was of a much more regimented sort, due to the strict traffic control rules around such a port. You were given a flight path and you were expected to stick to it over there. It was strange to think that in just over twenty four hours from now, I'd more than likely be sat aboard one of those little points of light, departing this city; possibly indefinitely.

I continued to survey the night time scene, taking in the view of the city that for good or ill had sort of become a home for the past few years, albeit in an admittedly not very homely way. I finished the contents of what I had decided upon would be my last bottle of beer, felt as the cool liquid went down my gut. I was done here on the pier, I was done with the whole place, and it wasn't just the Dutch courage talking. I looked at the empty bottle and with a semi conscious action I couldn't really explain, I hurled the bottle into the air, watching as it went on its spinning trajectory, right down to it's watery landing, a dull and distant splosh signifying it had hit home base.

I noticed that some of the night strollers around the pier shot me a few sour looks. Littering was not the done thing on twenty fourth century Earth, especially not for someone as attired as I was, particularly not in San Francisco of all places. I gave them a half sheepish acknowledgement of guilt at my heinous defilement of humanity's ancestral homeworld, and made my way back towards the Embarcadero, which was buzzing with as many people milling about the front on a pleasant evening as the pier was. It was surprisingly busy for a Monday night, but hey there was always something going on in the city by the bay. At least that's what the recruitment people always liked to emphasise.

I didn't really acknowledge the throng in any way, or feel part of the crowd to any degree; I had far too much on my mind for that, too much to focus on if I was to do this. I decided I'd walk it back to my digs tonight rather than take a transport; I needed the fresh air to be honest, some time to be alone with my thoughts. I figured that although it two miles away, I'd do it in just over an hour, a fully grown fellow in my prime like me, no problem.

I passed Fort Mason and the Marina Boulevard, thinking about how I'd word it. That was the key to the whole; for want of a better description, damage limitation exercise. I knew that saying it wouldn't go down too well with the powers that be, was to put it mildly; a gross understatement. If I pitched my case "well" I might at least manage to escape with a tiny latinum slip of my dignity left. At worst I'd be frog marched off the premises, right in front of the whole massed ranks of the entire campus sent out to watch and compound my disgrace. My name blackballed for all eternity, banished for ever.

At least taking up the offer was legal, well in the letter of the law it was. So I suppose I should have been grateful that I wouldn't end up facing the possibility of a stay in the cells. Despite this minor legal quibble, you'd be surprised how little comfort that actually gave me right now.

With these images heavy on my mind, I realised that the Presidium and the Golden gate were now on clear visible display. The uniform I wore was as intertwined in popular consciousness as the other two were in this setting, my Starfleet uniform, or to put it more accurately, my third year Starfleet cadets uniform. It would be my final year as well.

Yes, after a long deliberation I would no longer be taking my place at the academy. I was, to give it the technical term; chucking the towel in. Now at the best of times, walking away from the academy, and pissing away all that training, time and resources spent on molding you, into some black hole, wasn't exactly something that your superiors were going to give you a hearty high five and a parting gift for, that went without saying. In my case however, it was a little bit more complicated than could be considered "normal" under the circumstances.

I was telling my CO's that I wanted to bail, which was bad enough. However, it just so happened that I was bringing this awkward little technicality up whilst all of Starfleet were in the midst of fighting and dying, in the worst war in the whole of the Federations history, a war that if we were brutally honest, we had every chance of losing. To say my little announcement was coming at a bad time, really didn't cover the half of it. There was no easy way to do this. None at all.

My body and soul heavy with the exertion from the walk, and the stifling emotional baggage I wore around my neck, I finally, eventually reached the entrance to the academy and took a last look at the lit up bridge, I really would miss that bridge I told myself. It was with a heavy heart that I made my way to my digs. To face the inevitable fallout that morning would bring. But face it I must. It was time to break the bad news.


	2. Chapter 2

**LOUISA **Mistri saddled up beside me as I apprehensively made my way towards the superintendents office. I was so caught up in my thoughts it was only when she spoke that I even realised she was stood there, just a few centimetres to my right. I must have been preoccupied with what I was about to do, not to notice Louisa. I must admit I spent rather a more of my waking hours thinking about her, than perhaps I should have. What a damn shame our time together might be drawing to a close. Hey it was a small galaxy... If I asked her she might. "Where were you?" she asked, breaking my train of thought. "You looked a million light years away there. Something up?"

I nodded sadly "Something up, yeah you could say that Lou. I'm off to speak to top brass. Hell to the top of the top brass. It's not something I suppose I want to have to do. But hell, when you reach a point where you're forced to cross the Rubicon. You may as well kick your shoes off, run to the edge and wade straight in, none of that messing about at the sidelines. Wish me luck will you. I'll need it."

Louisa eyed me with a growing look of suspicion in her eyes. I didn't know her as well as some of the other cadets, but we had been assigned to some ogf the same classes and exercises and I felt that I'd come to know her a little bit better. Be able to chat informally with her. I had to admit that our growing acquaintance hadn't entirely been just a consequence of proximity, well it wasn't from my end anyway – by purely professional reasons. I had come to find our time together was something I had come to relish. I also may have let slip about my plans for Starfleet as well. Louisa had that way of making me open up perhaps in a way I didn't with others. I think she'd sussed the basics of what I was about to do.

"You're actually going to do it aren't you Josh? Your on your way to tell the superintendent that you're quitting the academy, on your final semester, during the middle of a war. I'll give you credit Josh, you certainly know how to pick your times. For what it's worth, I think your rushing into this. You've just hit a bad patch and are hanging up the gloves without really thinking it all through. I know that you've not had as easy of a ride as some of the others, but you are still an asset to Starfleet. Despite what you may think, you still have something to give. Don't throw it all away."

I shot Louisa an incredulous glance and said "My test ratings put me in the near bottom performance points of the bottom quartile for at least seventy percent of the courses I am on. Two resits this semester, three last one. Damn lucky I wasn't held back after that. Sometimes it feels that if I manage to scrape a borderline pass at this point I should class it as a good day. I'm tired of hanging on by the skin of my teeth like this. Fed up of not making the grade; being last over the line. I'm out of my depth Louisa, and I'm just deluding myself if I ever think I'll salvage anything like a half decent career in Starfleet. Some asset indeed."

Louisa was staring at me in that accusatory way your parents did just before they told you it wasn't them that you let down, it was yourself. But with Louisa I could see there was genuine sadness in her eyes, and it broke my heart to see that. I had grown very fond of her, and it would be so sad for us to part ways with this cloud hanging over our heads like this. Not being able to help myself, I turned away from her penetrating gaze. With a pained expression I said "Oh Louisa, please don't look at me like that. I don't want to let this come between us, not at the end. I feel bad enough as it is. Please, please don't make this any worse than it is already. In the long run, it's for the best, for everyone concerned as well I know it might not seem like that, but it is. Far from this being a spur of the moment decision, believe me, it's something I've given a great deal of thought to. In fact it's safe to say, it's been foremost on my mind for weeks, no months even. I wouldn't take this course of action lightly. You know that."

Louisa didn't look terribly convinced at my protestations of impulsiveness, and finally she said "I cant tell you how to live your life Josh. Only you in the end can do that. But, what with the war and you being in this place, now. It's gonna affect people in different ways. I have to question your reasons for doing this, now of all times. I can help you through to the end. The instructors can, we all can. Your not all on your own, an island in isolation, lost here with nowhere to turn to."

I looked at Louisa with perhaps an intensity or seriousness that she had never perhaps seen in my eyes before, as she seemed a bit taken aback by glance. I said quietly, to convey the logic behind my decision in as simple and candid a way as I could "That's why I have to do this now Louisa. Because of what is happening around us, the war, how it affects all of us, and most important of all how our actions will affect the billions who depend on us."

Louisa stared at me in utter incomprehension, she clearly hadn't a clue what I was on about, and who could blame her really, I must have sounded like I was having a meltdown or something. I tried as best I could to enlighten her. "The war has upped the stakes for all of us Louisa. I'm afraid that being in the bottom quartile and barely making it won't cut the mustard any more. I'll go from the underachiever in a bit over his head to a liability to my comrades and a danger to the Federation itself. I can't do that to either, they deserve so much better than me. Trust me, for everyones sakes it's for the best if I walk away." Louisa still looked confused but said "Josh, how are you going to help Starfleet by quitting on them? Of course you can do your bit to help the Federation. OK you might not be single handedly coordinating the war effort and no-one expects that. But I mean, your hardly going to single handedly bring about its downfall."

I shook my head in deflated exasperation at her admittedly kind yet misguided attempts to talk me out of doing Starfleet and myself a massive favour I should have done months showed she wasn't getting it, not one bit. "No Louisa, that isn't as far fetched as it might sound. I don't really think you quite grasp just what a hazard I could be to the entire war effort. Remember when I accidentally fused the power supply in the Robert April wing, when I ballsed up in charging up that portable shield generator. I mean how are you really going to forget it. That was an embarrassing, if for everyone else at least; amusing gaffe of mine. But that's on an academy campus, an isolated incident. A mistake on the front lines could result in the deaths of allied troops. A Federation planet falling to the Dominion. It's those upped stakes I mentioned before. The war will act as a devastating magnifying glass to my ineptitude as a soldier and underachievement as a student. And these failings magnified like this will get people killed and will actually go on to benefit our enemies. I can't allow that. I just can't"

Louisa put her arm on my soldier, trying to comfort me, though I did detect the faintest hint of condescension in the gesture, as if she was saying to me "Here here silly little man having a crisis. Let's here no more talk like that." and she said "I'm sure that thought crosses the mind of any one who has ever been faced with the possibility of being in front line combat. But don't you think your exaggerating a little bit. I mean the Federation isn't really going to stand or fall on one person is it?"

I knew she was only trying to make me feel better, but she really wasn't helping. Putting my hand up I said "I wouldn't be too sure of that. Do you know what got me thinking about all this. Why I suddenly realised the potential threat a green officer in over his head could be? It was the fall of Betazed. You know why Betazed fell so quickly don't you? They were caught out because the head of the Tenth fleet thought that the nearby Kalandra sector was too far behind our lines for any serious or practical Dominion invasion to be mounted, let alone succeed. He had the fleet messing around on some stupid training exercise near Luytons shoulder, all the while the Jem Hadar just walked in and conquered an undefended planet all in time for lunch, as the fleet that should have protected them, played toy warships two parsecs away. He may as well have personally handed the Dominion the keys to the parliament of Rixx himself. Why did he make this mistake? Because the former head of the Tenth fleet was killed in action a month before hand and he was over promoted and under prepared for the enormity of his role. One mans mistake lost us a world to the enemy and placed Jem Hadar shock troops in spitting distance of the Federation core systems."

Louisa looked at me with a thoughtful expression, digesting the finer philosophical points of my argument, though it was clear she was far from won over by my argument. She eventually said "Even if what you say is an exact account of the way Betazed fell, it still doesn't mean that you aren't making an active choice that could effect the war effort by quitting Starfleet. Applying your reasoning the other way round, not actively participating in the war doesn't prevent there not being consequences to the war stemming from that action. In this case your action happening to be inaction." I mentally kicked myself by the way Louisa had turned the tables somewhat on my reasoning and I weekly attempted to protest. "Well possibly Louisa. But I've made up my mind; the academy is better off doing without me. I'm calling it a day and I better get it over and done with, not beat around the bush about it. See you around hey!"

Louisa just shrugged miserably and said "I don't see how if you're leaving us. But you have to take your own path I suppose. Take care Josh." I watched as Louisa slowly turned to walk away and I was overcome with sadness and the horrible dawning realisation that we may never again meet, that this would be the last exchange between us. What a wretched way for us to part company I thought. With that sense of morose finality lingering bitterly, I watched her walk across the campus grounds, her figure growing increasingly diminutive the further away she walked, though she never once looked back to see me stood there watching her.

I mentally snapped myself out of watching her go off in the distance and headed towards the superintendents office, though it was surprisingly quiet as usually there would have been plenty of officers and cadets hurrying to and fro from offices, seminars and meetings. It was virtually deserted today, "Where could they possibly all be?" I wondered.


	3. Chapter 3

I went back to thinking about the meeting with Superintendent Murray. From a legal point I'd be OK in quitting even though it was wartime. Joining the Altarian merchant fleet was a protected position, so they couldn't bar me on those grounds. However, for my part it would be considered an act of extremely bad form in the eyes of both the superintendent and my peers for me to leave at such a time. Murray was going to hit the roof, and he had a fierce temper when he was angry. He could make the transition very awkward for me if he was so inclined, and I risked ending my academy days ostracised from the other cadets who may see me as venal at best and an outright coward at worst. How I wish they would see it as being for their own best interests, though I knew I was kidding myself if I thought they would see it in that way.

In hindsight I should never have entertained the notion of joining up in the first place, It was my best friend Steve Bredburys idea for us both to join together in the first place anyway. I doubted that I would have ever have taken the plunge of my own accord. But, hell when your mate is badgering you to join, and you have an out of place young man who hasn't really found his calling in life yet, and his head is filled with promises of adventure and excitement, blasting away on a starship. Not really giving thought to the long term consequences of what a life in the service actually entails. Well... what have you got to lose?

At least it felt that way back then. Things went badly from the start however and the cracks began to show almost as soon as set down into the academy. Although Steve and I signed up together and we attended many of the same lectures, I felt myself drifting from his orbit somehow. Steve was far more committed and adjusted to the day to day ways of campus in a way that I never was. I never had the affinity for the rituals and idiosyncrasies of academy life that he seemed to embrace so easily. All of those strange rituals and traditions what the hell was all that about I'd ask myself. He seemed to soak up the atmosphere here, whereas I just felt like a spare part. Although I was glad my friend was enjoying himself, I do admit I did feel somewhat left out in those early days, and often found myself staring aimlessly out at San Francisco bay watching the boats going out to sea, and the gulls above circling and riding the turbulent thermals of the bay. I sometimes entertained a childish wish that I could have spawned wings myself and joined them, flying away from this strange world that I had found myself being placed in.

In a terrible twist of irony, of the pair of us who had signed up, the one who felt most at home in the academy suddenly ended up having his time there cut so cruelly cut short. Unbeknownst to anyone, Steve had been suffering dizzy spells and on more than one occasion had blacked out for several seconds. It was only when he had a fit right in the middle of undertaking in a training obstacle course, that he fessed up to the doctors what had been going on. They diagnosed him with a rare and only partly curable neurological condition that was being exacerbated by the intensive campus regimen, and causing Steve to have blackouts. He was told on no uncertain terms that due to medical grounds, his Starfleet career would for all intents and purposes limited to administrative type work only, his dream of being the helmsman of a starship, even a captain one day, were over.

I'll never forget the terrible disappointment in his eyes when he broke the news to us all. How he just about held himself together for his leaving do. He finally chose to be honorably discharged from the service on medical grounds; I think the thought of him watching from some Starfleet office, while all his friends and comrades were given their first assignments, leaving him alone with that damned condition of his, was just too much for him.

And so it was, I found myself even more isolated, with my best friend, the one man who truly deserved to be wearing the uniform, forced to wash out due to that damned condition of his. Things took a further turn for the worse career wise, as all this stuff with the Dominion started kicking off. Although the beginnings of problems with the Dominion had been starting to simmer when we joined up, I perhaps hadn't paid as much attention to current affairs as I should had. Although I knew that a career in Starfleet did pose the possibility of being forced to face front line combat, I always thought that Starfleet was primarily about peacekeeping and exploration, and not pitched battles and warfare. I know it sounds naïve, but I just assumed that the Federation council bigwigs would have hammered out some sort of treaty with the Dominion. In hindsight that sounds a little bit optimistic, but perhaps we all instinctively don't want to think the worst case will actually come to pass, or at least that we ourselves won't get caught up in it.

I remember that day when Gul Dukat announced on all the news feeds that Cardassia had thrown their lot in with the Dominion. How the horrible realisation dawned in me that we had reached the point of no return, and that as cadets we were all on a runaway handcart straight on its way to hell. I can't tell you how intense that sense of hopelessness and total lack of any control of my destiny felt as I heard Dukat lay out his revanchist plans, plans that he could make good on now, what with his new best mates. The dread of what was going to happen subsumed me to the very core of my being on that dark day. How I realised that in the next few months that my life could very well be violently terminated in an instant on some forlorn rock on the Cardassian front lines, and I wasn't even in my mid twenties yet. God, life was a cruel practical joke sometimes.

My sombre reminiscence at this sorry state of affairs was broken as I realised that I could hear the sounds of faint klaxons in the distance, their tone a sort that I'd never heard sounded before, their eerie wails ringing in the background, and two rather worried security officers having an intense conversation with someone presumably on the other end of the PADD they were holding. It got even stranger when I saw an attractive young women in a blue Starfleet uniform hurrying out of one of the admin buildings attached to the Roykirk institute, It was clear from her reddened face that she had been crying, as if she'd had just been the recipient of some bad news or something.

Something was going on, and my apprehension about it was starting to jostle for the attention of my busied and distracted mind, what with my preoccupation on the outcome of the meeting with the as yet, not clued up Murray. I squinted slightly as the "sun" suddenly came out, as if it had been behind a cloud, which was odd as it was clear blue skies and the light was in the wrong place anyhow to be originating from Sol itself. Hearing a voice shouting behind me, I looked up and froze in shock at what I saw "Bloody hellfire!" was all I managed as I located the source of the light. Earth was under attack! The shouting got louder as the man behind me got closer to me, but it wasn't until he was right next to me that I realised what he was saying, as I had been so mesmerised by what I had seen. He was calling out my name.

TO BE CONTINUED….


	4. Chapter 4

"Cadet Feldman, make your way to the underground shelters straight away. Starfleet is under attack!" I turned to face the person behind the voice that was addressing me to see a panicked looking instructor gesturing hastily for me to follow him. In spite of what seemed to be going on it seemed that his sense of urgency was thoroughly justified. I was still so stunned at what I had just witnessed that I didn't immediately head what was; under the circumstances, very sound advice. I was temporarily fixated as that incandescent shaft of lethal energy was boring down with devastating effect towards the imposing tower atop of the Daystrom building, eventually; horrifically – the lethal beam bisected the building starting fires within it, and from the melted gashes that had been created from the heat and the energy, glowing showers of luminous debris rained down from within the building. I realised in horror that some of that debris would surely be from the bodies of the unfortunates caught up in those floors struck by the attack on the building. What a truly awful way to die, I thought. I could only hope they didn't suffer for long, but still.

Somehow managing to splutter out a question to the instructor despite the shock, I said "Who's attacking us? The Dominion? Is this an invasion or something?" The instructor didn't even cast me a glance and almost shoving me along to the refuge area he said "I don't know son. I don't think any one does. Come on there's no time to hang around; we have to get to safety. Come quickly." We raced towards where the shelters were, I thought I vaguely remembered where they were, during the extensive tours we had of the campus during our probation. The beams were orangey yellow colour and didn't look at all like the Jem Hadar or Cardassian weapons I was normally familiar with. I also thought it odd that the Dominion would launch an attack or invasion on Earth. I thought they had had their hands tied what with the new front the Romulans had opened up when they joined our side in the war last year.

I wouldn't have had put it past the Dominion to launch a full scale planetary bombardment on an enemy planet, the Dominions ruthlessness and brutality was legendry, but I thought it a rather "reckless" strategy for them. Those founders were cautious and pragmatic fighters. They were calculating, almost anal in their manner. I didn't think they were ones for bold maverick strikes like this. The Cardassians might have been "Quixotic" enough to pull such a stunt, but would their Dominion masters have let them off the leash to do it? Possibly. I could have misjudged their tactics I suppose, but nonetheless I continued to run towards the shelters. The priority here I reminded myself, was to stay alive and not perform some field analysis on what the other side were up to in plain view of them raining down fire upon me. As I caught sight of the protective entrance door for the tunnel bore, I did worry what might face us when we were at last allowed to leave the shelters. Those Jem hadar were vicious sons of bitches, engineered killing machines. They didn't bother to follow trifling technicalities like rules of engagement, and not targeting civilians, or anything like that. I doubted there would be much left standing, alive or intact after their shock troops were finished. I realised in horror, that I could be witnessing the final destruction of Earth, and a large chunk of human civilisation along with her. It was a beautiful planet and humans had come so far since the dark days of the third world war. What a tragedy that it was all seemingly about to be razed to the ground in fire by our enemies.

"Who's attacking us? Those beams doesn't look like any standard Dominion firepower I recognise. What is going on here?". My desperate beseeching fell on deaf ears and we were almost at the shelters now and I could see the bunker door was wide open to allow us to enter, in the hopes for us to have some chance of surviving this onslaught. When he finally ushered me in, no almost physically shoved me in, he at last attempted to answer my questions, though I suspected he didn't know a whole lot more about what was really going on as I did. "I don't know exactly cadet; I don't think it's the Jem Hadar, something about a sneak attack I heard. Whether anywhere else has been hit again I don't have any concrete information. But what I do know is that we have to make our way to the main shelter further underground, just down this tunnel. We are still in terrible danger here. Come now!"

As we legged it down this rather ominous though reassuringly robust looking service tunnel, our boots making a muffled echoing noise that you get when your in an underground tunnel, I turned to see a stocky red headed youth with beads of sweat pouring down his face running towards us. He was panting heavily and as he doubled over to catch his breath, he held the palms of his hands to his kneecaps to try and regain his composure. It was cadet Paul Ridings, he must have bolted here at a rate of knots I thought, and he looked knackered. He eventually caught his breath enough to speak, though his voice was heavy and ragged with exhaustion and shock at what had just happened. He held his hand up to steady himself and said "I heard it was the Breen. My Dads in the diplomatic corps, and I knew that a Breen delegation had been in Sol as we speak, something about a trade delegation or something. Apparently they appeared to have made it look as they were about to depart to warp after it was wrapped up, make ity look as if it was just a regular trade expedition. But suddenly they all turn tail and attack the orbital defense network and every major city on Earth. It's only what I heard, but if its true the death toll could be in the millions. Crap what a bloody mess. Its just…."

The instructor stopped the cadet in his tracks, stared at him harshly and said "Now that's enough cadet. None of us know the full story about what has happened, and scurrilous scaremongering hurts everyone but our enemies. You will not harm the morale of everyone here with your unfounded rumours. Understood?"

"Yessir" said a sheepish, if rather put out cadet Ridings. I turned to face the instructor and said quietly to him, so the others wouldn't hear. "Cadet Ridings might be on to something sir. Now that I think about it our assailant's firepower didn't resemble anything I've ever seen the Dominion or Cardassia ever deploy. If I didn't know better I'd say Starfleet was being hit by disruptor fire. Think about it, those blasts weren't as loud as we might expect. Phasers and particle weapons create a deafening scream when they cut through the atmosphere unlike disrupters. The Breen employ disruptors, and lets be honest they seem crazy enough to pull a stunt like Ridings implied. They are enigmatic like that, and not in a good way."

The instructor just frowned and said "Your analysis is not without merit but its still just conjecture. Let's stop guessing and await further orders. It benefits no one to speculate wildly like this." Cadet Spylar, a lithe yet ethereally confident looking Vulcan freshman walked over to join us. "Permit me to interject if I may sirs. I could not help overhearing your impromptu surmising of what has taken place, and I do not want you to feel that I am eves dropping on conversations that do not concern me. However I feel I must air my own theories onto the identity of our attackers, as they do indeed correspond with that of my fellow cadets. From what little information we have garnered about the Breen, we do know that, culturally they employ codes of conduct from the long established martial traditions of their society. It is known that this extends to obligations of fealty between higher ranking Breen warlords and chieftains and those lower down on their social strata such as vassals and the lesser clan chiefs. It has been known for a lower status warlord or Thot to demonstrate allegiance and support to a more powerful one by undertaking audacious, even highly irrational and suicidal acts of military endeavor in a an attempt to pledge support and commitment in exchange for commendation and privileges from those at the top of their hierarchical structures. It is not illogical to assume that the Breen may extend this tradition even to an external agency such as the Dominion, in exchange for power and technological exchange. A highly risky attack on the heart of the Federation may be their attempt at actively proving their commitment to fealty. Delivering such a "gift" to the Dominion and cementing in fire and blood, such an alliance."

I felt a little surge of pride at having at least one of my theories being shored up by a Vulcan, they didn't always entertain such praise lightly, though I was stunned that he had overheard our hushed conversation as he had been stood well over fifteen metres away. The famous Vulcan ears were obviously not just there for decoration.

The instructor however was not as glad to have the Vulcan join in as I had been, and rolled his eyes in exasperation at all this, and said tersely "I'd have expected more from you Spylar than indulging in these guessing games. Enough all of you, it serves no productive purpose"

Superficially Spylar appeared to remain impassive over the dressing down, but I thought I could just about see the tiniest nucleus of resentment, even anger in the young Vulcans eyes, as if he wanted to point out, but couldn't …. that it _was _logical to try and explain the potential motives of the attack in order to try and minimise casualties if we could attempt to ascertain why they were doing what they were doing, and to what goal.

The instructors eyes suddenly turned to look down at his communicator as he realised he was receiving an emergency transmission and walked away from us so he wasn't in earshot when he took the call. Although I could hear the rushed tones of the women on the other end he was speaking to but it was too quiet to hear precisely what it was that they were saying. I only got the background murmur of urgent voices and judging by the body language of the instructor, he wasn't at all keen on what he was hearing.

He turned round to face us all and began to eye up all us cadets up as if assessing us for some strange reason, and then he turned back to speak to the women on the comm once more. He eventually said his farewell to the women and with the comm wrapped up he turned to address us.

"Right ladies and gentlemen, that was Captain Richards on the line. She has confirmed that we are under attack by what are believed to be a small squadron of vessels, almost certainly of Breen origin. Starfleet does believe the incident is an isolated one, and we are not facing a full scale invasion or planetary bombardment. Beyond that I am in the dark as to what is going on. Starfleet has deployed emergency shield generator modules around the city to shore up the planetary defenses of the surrounding area, although she informs me that the module deployed in the Berkeley district to protect that part of the city took some rogue hits and several of the crew have been incapacitated. Despite my objections about putting cadets in clear and present danger, she has asked for a volunteer to help man the module for a short while. All active officers have been deployed so she has requested that a cadet be sent to help coordinate defenses due to the shortage of available officers to act as stand ins. As I said this is voluntary and you will be recognised for what you have done after this is all over, I promise. Who feels they are qualified for this?"

Almost as soon as he asked the question Cadet Davies Roth stuck his hand excitedly in the air and with an air of defiant confidence that verged on manic bravado he said "I volunteer sir. We all have to do our bit in times of crisis, best to start now whilst the irons hot." The instructor was having none of this and frowning he said "I can't fault you for your enthusiasm and admittedly rather misplaced sense of bravery cadet, but honestly, how is your expertise in xenolinguistics _really _going to pay off over there." "It might." said Roth with deflated defiance. He knew today that it wouldn't be him who ended up saving the day. I briefly thought about deflating the tension by sarcastically pointing out that Roth could set the shield boosters to spell "Get lost" in Breen in really big letters, but thought better of it. I had an even sillier idea to voice. I admittedly knew little about a lot of Starfleets lines of expertise; however I did know my way around those types of shield modules Starfleet deployed better than most.

Without the fervent relish we'd seen from Roth, I stuck my hand up to sign up for what very well might be my last mission "I'll go sir. I think I can just about work my way round the systems over there."

With a sense of huge reluctance as he obviously disapproved of carrying out Richards bidding the instructor acquiesced to my offer and said sadly "Very well Feldman, we'll have you. What's this war coming to when we send cadets to danger like this. Never thought I'd see the day. Off you go son, do us proud, I'm sure you will."

Although I was moved by his sentiments, I detected he may have just been prepping me for it somewhat, rather than it actually being a genuine sign of his faith in me. I felt a bit sad when I realised that it was a rare occasion for such words of praise being directed at me and my conduct during the time I had been in the academy, but I supposed it was better late than never.

I heard a women speak form behind me and realised it was Louisa. With all the commotion going on around me I simply hadn't realised she had been in the shelter with us all this time. "I volunteer too sir. Cadet Feldman will need an extra pair of hands whilst he is there. It's a lot for an experienced officer to handle let alone a cadet."

I was a bit put out of this and I said "Sir, there isn't a need for cadet Mistry to keep an eye on me, I won't fail." Louisa instantly came back at this and said "I don't doubt you will, and I know you know your way around those systems. But I also know things could go wrong. Trust me, its better the two of us delegate this task."

Still barely able to contain my shock I said "Give me break Louisa, how do you know something will go wrong?" "How do I know, because when you shorted the power in the Robert April wing, you did it by experimenting on generators that were of the same design as these ones. Come on, let's go." Hardly able to form a comeback at this statement of fact I decided on not doing so, and Louisa and I made our way to the tunnel exit and to whatever lay in store for us in what had now become a war zone.


	5. Chapter 5

Louisa and I made our way apprehensively toward the tunnels exit and from what was our only form of refuge from our attackers. we would need to make our way towards the nearest emergency transporter station on the academy grounds as we couldn't beam from the tunnel staright to the module due to the interference from the shelters own shields and the others being used to repel the attackers. My heart was pounding, as I'm sure Louisa's must have been, we had no idea what lay in store for us outside, or what may remain of Starfleet, or even San Francisco for that matter. Hell half of North America may have been toast for all we know. I was unbelievably scared; I freely admit it with all my heart. I felt much more scared than I thought was worthy of a Starfleet officer in the making in this position should be. God I wasn't cut out for this one bit.

I tried to retain my focus and to try and shut out the horrible realisation that death from above could hit at any moment and I'd be utterly helpless to stop it. I felt like a bug with a massive boot raised above me ready to strike without any pity or remorse whatsoever. Was this how they had felt at Pearl Harbour and Station Salem One all those years ago, or had they shown more robust in their resolve than I had, I wondered.

Above me I noticed how the blue sky seemed to be rippling almost like we were underwater and I thought at first it was some kind of secret Dominon weapon at work on Earths atmosphere, but I soon realised it was coming from the shields protecting Starfleet and the city, the field was just being distorted by the attack where an ugly blue green disrupter blast struck the shield dome about one hundred yards in front of us. Fortunately for us the shields prevented the beam from penetrating the dome and blasting Gagarin hall with one hit.

Louisa spoke, although she was clearly nervous she kept an air of command about her tone. "Come on Josh, the station is about two hundred meters west from here, we better not hang around, the shield dome is faltering badly, I don't know if its' going to hold out much longer. _"Two hundred meters." _I thought to myself, may as well be two hundred miles the way I felt. We both started to leg it towards the station, finding yourself under enemy fire motivates you that way.

We'd got about forty five meters when suddenly a blast of light erupted in the sky, I'd have said it must have been a good fifty to sixty klicks above us, still running I voiced what I thought the source of that light was "Look Louisa, that blast of light, the glowing debris is heading away from the planet as if what blew up had been retreating away from Earth. I think our guys just got one of the bastards."

Louisa didn't look back, she just said "Lets hope so, we haven't got time to really think about it. Oh Christ Josh, look at that, the shield in quadrant four is dropping. The Presidium and Sausalito." Suddenly we looked in horror as the enemies death rays managed to break through the shields and started to carve their murderous path through the residential areas to the south of Sausalito. The helpless areas that lay in the way of the beams were incinerated in the blink of an eye. Those poor people caught up, they never stood a chance. Hitting a target like Starfleet was one thing, but innocent civilians in the wrong place at the wrong time, an unspeakable act of spite and disregard for any laws of civility.

The beams halted as they reached the tip of Fort Baker and the waters of the bay, there were no civilians to be found to happily massacre there I supposed. However they started up again and hit the iconic Golden Gate bridge slicing it cleanly in two as if it were made of butter. The severed bridge began to sway as a section of the road pier collapsed and fell, splashing into the water of the bay below, the suspension cables snapping as it went. I watched as one of the pylons, partially melted from the impact and damaged by the load bearing cables that had snapped, buckled and crumpled, it was no longer physically able to take the weight of the bridge it supported. The severed end of the remaining side of pier held by the twisted pylon flopped downwards towards the water like some huge dogs tongue did in summer. It was the most utterly surreal thing I had ever seen with my own eyes, such an historic landmark being devastated like that in the space of two seconds. It was almost dreamlike, an out of body feeling at the terrible weirdness of it all, but this was really, physically and terribly happening around me, as were the explosions that were coming from the now partially collapsed Robert April wing, as the buildings roof caved in from the blasts it received, and the infernal flames of multiple fires out of control shot out from broken windows and the areas of least resistance where the gutted building had been ripped open from the blasts.

Fortunately the attack was stopped in its tracks as there was another explosion in the sky, and I only hoped that would stop more of those blasts permanently. This lull would hopefully give the shield precious time to recharge to try and maintain as watertight a defence as they could muster until we arrived to help.

Though I realised in horror that more than one enemy strike had managed to breach through the shields, as I saw that plumes of smoke were billowing from San Francisco itself, and that the dust and smoke about a hundred yards to my side was where buildings including the Daystrom tower and the remainder of that annex had once stood, but no more. My god how many had died today I wondered?

We were almost there now and we raced into the transporter station watching as surface to air Starfleet phasers and photon torpedoes fired from those concealed phaser banks and photons scattered around the grounds and the Presidium, we all knew had existed but had never seen until these terrible events required them to be revealed, did what they were designed to do and blow these guys to high heaven.

Louisa activated the transport consoles as fast as her hands would let her and we were whisked away from the terrible scene, hopefully in time to help keep all of us to be able to fight another day. As unwelcome that fight might have been for some of us, there was a stronger, if perhaps less noble motivator for that same few of us, the fight to actually survive this whole damn thing at all.

TO BE CONTINUED


	6. Chapter 6

Almost as abruptly as we had left one scene out of hell, the transporter rather inconsiderately dumped us straight into yet more carnage. We were beamed into the operations post at the heart of the shield module that was desperately trying to hold the enemies fire power at bay in order to save the Berkeley district from complete devastation. It was clear from the chaotic scenes that greeted us that if left in the state it was, the module would almost inevitably fail in that goal and fail soon at that.

Almost as soon as I materialised my senses were immediately bombarded a hundred times over by the acrid smell of burning circuitry and overloaded components, a combination of the systems being pushed beyond their limits due to the punishment they were being subjected to and some of the enemy firepower managing to get a glancing blow on the module. It was no exaggeration to say that this module was in dire straits and if Louisa and I didn't get out act together real sharpish, we'd all be toast along with half of the San Francisco area.

All the local phaser banks were out of commission and this module was really about the areas last hope to survive this. Things were, to put it mildly; not going our way.

We ran down the corridor near one of the main power substations and from the sight of the badly burned and incapacitated officers who had valiantly tried to stop the substation from blowing, and were now having their injuries tended by hurried medics, and from the soot and heat damage, it was clear why they needed extra hands and needed them now.

We raced to the command centre and were greeted by a very put upon and harassed looking junior lieutenant, who at best could have been only a year or two older than me, and had presumably found himself winding up as the highest ranking officer now that half the crew were out of action. "Holy Christ, I'm glad you two are here! C'mon fellers see if you can you keep the shields stable, try to keep them cycling so that they can maintain a solid defence wall. We've gotta try to keep the enemy at bay at least until the orbital defences finish them off for us, or we'll lose this part of the city. Go on no time to lose. I'll coordinate with the other modules, I only hope we…"

The young man stopped speaking as he saw that his audience had abruptly gone as we raced to the shield projection consoles, this wasn't the time or the place for speculative chit chat after all.

A cursory glance at the officially recommended settings the module teams had programmed into the defence patterns. They'd obviously just set them the way the manual said so. I realised that these guys perhaps didn't have as intimate knowledge of the various things you could do with these kinds of generators as I did. I might be able to pull a few tricks off before the defence networks saved the day. Admittedly "might" being the objective word here. Now, what about these shield projectors being XB 56's? I knew these beauties fairly well.

I jabbed Louisa on the arm to get her attention, it was so damned noisy in there with the generators and all, and she almost jumped from being distracted in such a manner, what could I do, it was simply the easiest way to get her attention. "Louisa these generators are running at a frequency of ten gigahertz, set the shields to cycle at fifteen gigahertz, don't leave them at ten, I've had an idea!"

Louisa didn't look to sure at this and said "Fifteen! Is that wise? What with the state these generators are in, I don't think the projectors will hold that long with that kind of cycle." I nodded in understanding at her concerns; however I suddenly felt a sense of control creeping over me that I hadn't felt since the attack started. No, that I hadn't felt since I had decide to throw the towel in with Starfleet. For about a nanosecond right there I felt… serene almost, composed. Sure of myself. I said to my confused friend "The projectors are history one way or another, whatever we do Louisa. We can't prevent that, but we can delay it. You don't have to look so sceptical kid, this'll work."

"Try telling that to the technicians who had to spend three hours restoring power to the Robert April wing after the last "experiment" you performed on this sort of thing." She replied, with a resigned sarcasm that was quite unbecoming of my friend I thought. Though, perhaps she did have a point. "We'll be fine Louisa. The power crystals in those generators have an affinity for certain wavelengths and frequencies, natural resonance and all that. Although fifteen gigahertz is high, they might hold out just that bit longer before shattering. Longer than what would officially be cited by Starfleet specs anyway, they always err on the side of caution anyway."

The flustered junior lieutenant was staring intently at the sensor screens that gave him an electronic layout of the combat area, the poor guy was sweating profusely and looked like Atlas on a really bad day having to carry the weight of the world with a dodgy shoulder or something. What a position to find oneself in at that age I thought.

I was hit by a sudden and almost painfully visceral sense of intense shame that almost felt like it had drop kicked me in the gut. I suddenly realised why. Here was me planning to walk away from Starfleet precisely so I myself wouldn't ever be put in the position of this poor lieutenant. With all the stuff with the shields and defending the city, I'd nearly almost forgotten about what I'd planned. It was sobering stuff to say the least.

Not bothering to hide his alarm at whatever ban news the displays were telling him, he cried "You guys better do what you need to do as sensors show two aggressors nearby, one of the vessels is extensively damaged and heading for a low orbital defence satellite orbiting just about above us. Oh Christ I think he's doing a suicide run on it, the satellite won't be able to shoot him down in time. God he's opened up a hole in the defence perimeter and his companion is heading into firing position right above us. I hope your plan works for all our sakes. I don't know how long orbital defences can be in intercept range to take them out"

I worked as fast as my mind and body allowed, I mean it wasn't like I was under any pressure to pull off a miracle was it?" The generators began to emit a dull and really not very comforting whine as I increased the power in a vain attempt to save us. The computer didn't like this one bit and flashed every kind of electronic protest its vocabulary could muster.

I don't think the other two had much more faith in improvisations either. Lousia said quietly "Oh Josh I don't know.." "Bit late now Louisa, everything stands or falls on this." The whines were getting louder and louder as the generators strained with all the power that was being channelled through them; we were rapidly and lethally reaching the point of no return.

The lieutenant broke yet more good news "Enemy moving into position, detecting power surge in his main weapons, we may have only seconds left here." "That's all we need sir, just a bit longer, the orbital grid will take care of him." I was surprised at how much I sounded so genuinely self assured of this, and you know what, I actually felt that way about it. This might actually work after all! I don't know how I knew, I just sort of did.

The lieutenant went even more saucer eyed at what he had apparently seen on his sensor display. "I don't believe it, that rammed satellite is firing back at the enemy, his damaged friend mustn't have quite finished the job off when he ploughed into him. He's having to divert power to fight the satellite off."

I looked at the generators and said "Come on you two, to the transporters now. Trust me you don't want to be near an XB 56 when they blow. I'll stay with them until I'm sure our friend up there is space dust." Louisa protested this "For God sake Josh, you've picked a hell of a time to become a hero. Don't be so stupid, we all have to go now. You'll be killed if you stay when those things go up."

I smiled and said calmly, "Well I best make sure that I leave just before they do go up then. Go on, you two have done your bit I'll see you in three." The lieutenant had to virtually drag an indignant Louisa who was shaking her head at my supposed idiotic act of martyrdom, out of the command centre to gather up the rest of the crew to evacuate. Although the remaining aggressor had to divert firepower to destroy the damaged defence satellite, It was still pounding away at the shields, and the bad news was that the generator was beginning to seriously falter under the onslaught, and it was all but inevitable that those weapons would find their way through to do untold damage to the whole district including myself.

Despite the apparent carnage around me as the generators began to melt down due to the excess demands put on them, I couldn't help but feel pride that I'd managed to stave the attack off event this long, although I felt that this minor moment of respite might turn out to be entirely in vain fairly soon. I was beginning to run out of ideas to coax any more power from those failing generators.

I looked at the sensors and there was no sign of any form of orbital counterattack on the remaining ship which wasn't great news. Neither, for that matter; was the three meter sheet of flame that was now shooting out of the generators main heat dissipater. Which would get me first, the enemy or the blast from the overload?

I decided on attempting to manage the overload, to hold out just a tiny degree of a second longer than was really possible for a unit in the state it was in. It was utter desperation on my part, but what else was I to do? In the end however, it didn't matter what I did. It was what the guy who fired those few last torpedoes from one of the just about serviceable surface launchers that, thanks to his quick thinking field improvisation, coaxed enough counter fire to gave me that small window when the enemy guns were stopped for a few vital seconds, and at last the orbital defences were in a position to put an end to the whole sorry situation for good, as that last blip eventually disappeared from the sensor.

Job done, I immediately signalled to be transported out of the command centre, now well ablaze from the damage, and once more the transporter whisked me away for the next chapter in this whole saga.


	7. Chapter 7

I was reunited with my fellow cadets, not in the tunnels we had been in the last time we were together, but in a shielded basement level section of one of the campus buildings. Although it had been deemed that the worst of the attack was now over, there was still enough potential danger around that the powers that be didn't want cadets to be exposed in the middle of it all, should it kick off once more.

A few of the cadets looked my way as they clapped eyes on me stood there in a singed cadets uniform, with my singed hair too. I suspect I must have been looking pretty shell shocked into the bargain as well. Those who stared murmured in my general direction, but I felt no hostility or implied ostracism or hostility in their manner. Despite being pretty out of it from my ordeal, I was lucid enough to realise it was attention my way that was born of approval not scorn.

I might have enjoyed the feeling on any other day, but truth be told it was all a bit overpowering, especially in this crowded public area. I really just wanted a lie down at this exact moment in time, if truth be told. From conversation I'd learned a little bit more about what had exactly taken place here at the academy today. It had been the Breen who'd attacked after all. Cadets Ridings and Spylar hadn't been a million miles away from the truth after all. The Breen had thrown their lot in with the Dominion after all, and the assault on Earth, Starfleet headquarters and other locations on the planet, had been orchestrated to show their commitment to their new friends right before they officially declared war on the allied forces. It had been on the news feeds and everything, and it seemed everyone was trying to speculate on what this latest development would actually mean in the greater course of the wars outcome. It was a hell of a lot to take in and I felt weary and bogged down by it all, the galaxy just never seemed to ease up on everyone these days. I caught a glimpse of Louisa in the corner of the room and although I wasn't feeling up to much socialising, I could always make the time for her. Louisa looked up and flashed me a huge smile as soon as she saw me, she put her arm around me and embraced me warmly, and although I suspected she intended the gesture to be a platonic one, I still welcomed it, it was good to see her, it always was. "Well here's everyone's favourite hero and although I thought that at the time it was an act of madness, it seems to have paid off. I just hope the good people of Berkeley appreciate it. They have you to thank for not being vaporised by disruptors. That's a pretty good result for someone who seemed certain he'd end up killing everyone. Perhaps the moral of the story is that you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. Perhaps you do have something to offer. What you did, makes you wonder doesn't it." I didn't really verbally respond to this as I was simply too tired to offer any kind of retort that would have any sticking power and settled for a resigned shrug. A cadet who I didn't know suddenly tapped me on the shoulder and I shot him a look at confusion as to why he was doing this. Did I have some sort of fan club now? "Cadet Feldman, Superintendant Murray wants to speak to you on the com, are you able to have a word with him! Oh and nice work with the shields there. That was a hell of a display of quick thinking improvisation. Real brave thing to do, you should be proud of it." I nodded in thanks at his kind words and went to speak to the superintendent, but I no longer felt the apprehension I should have been feeling as if my stomach had have hit the floor as soon as my new admirer told me he was on the comm. but that wasn't how I felt. Louisa was right, it did make you wonder. I saw a slightly harassed, if somewhat relieved looking Murray on the comm. screen, who was simultaneously trying to look at about three different displays and myself at the same time. After a few seconds of silence as he tried to do a dozen things at once I spoke to attract his attention. "Sir its cadet Feldman, I was told you wanted to speak to me." Murray turned away from the other stuff he was looking at and looked at me with irritated confusion "Ah Feldman, it's funny you say that, I thought you wanted to speak to _me. _You did arrange a meeting, however what with the Breen attack, you can understand how it ended up being postponed, but I saw the diary entry and decided to speak to you. What is it you want?" At first I wasn't sure what to say, but after a little thought I said "Oh it wasn't important sir, and the attack has overshadowed events to say the least, I can see your busy sir, I'd hate to think I've dragged you away from what you were doing for something so trivial." The superintendant didn't seem terribly convinced by this and with a suspicious tone he said "Are you sure Feldman, your request for a meeting seemed fairly urgent on your part. You don't strike me as the sort who seeks a meeting with the superintendant for nothing. If you have something on your mind you need to tell me, do it son. Don't be afraid to voice your concerns. If anyone has earned that right you have. That was an absolute blinder you pulled out there. San Francisco owes you a debt of gratitude cadet. Well done there." I'm not afraid to admit that I felt very moved by my peers compliments and even for perhaps the first time, not quite feeling as much of a spare part as I usually did in these grounds. "Thank you sir that is very kind, but honestly it wasn't anything important, in fact until you came on the com, the meeting had gone out of my mind what with the attack and everything. Its OK sir, I don't want to divert your attentions from clearing up after the attack, but thank you for taking the time to speak to me sir. I really appreciate it." Murray acknowledged this but still looked a bit confused about it. "OK cadet Feldman as long as you're alright that's what really matters. Well done for your actions during the Breen raid son, we are all very proud of you. Go and enjoy spending some down time with your peers, bask a little in their praise. You've certainly earned it, but don't let them buy you too many drinks at the bar. You do have classes tomorrow after all." I smiled at this and then the comm visual disappeared as Murray terminated the link.


	8. EPILOGUE

_TEN YEARS AFTER._

So, you might find yourself asking, how did the news of my; at the time, imminent departure go down with the superintendant, and to give you the honest answer, I don't know how it went, because in the end I never actually did tender my resignation, after what we all went through that day, it kind of didn't feel right to go through with it. Louisa had been right all along, events like the Dominion war could catch up with you, even if you tried your hardest to run in the opposite direction at the first sign of trouble. I realised that in these sorts of situations that regardless of however much faith one places in ones abilities, pretty much all of us rise to the occasion by virtue of necessity the instinct to survive was a strong one after all. I remember shortly after the whole incident had happened, someone referred to me as a hero, though I never saw myself as one, I just did what had to be done, though it was many years later that I wouldn't awaken in the night in a cold sweat every so often, when I thought about the danger I had been in, and what could have happened if something had gone wrong. I suppose its best not to dwell, but I couldn't help it sometimes back then.

… As far as the rest of the war was concerned, the events of that day in San Francisco would be the most direct first hand experiences of battle that I faced right up to the wars thankfully swift though albeit pyrrhic conclusion. In the end I never stared down the barrel of my enemies guns, or looked squarely into the whites of their eyes (I think Jem'hadar eyes are similar to humanoid ones anyway) My concerns about losing the war singlehandedly through my incompetence also never materialised. I remained clearly on the sidelines, in support roles - of the remaining major events of the war such as Legate Damar rising up against his increasingly heavy handed Dominion "partners". The Breens brief if brilliant campaign blazed a trail for the Dominion for a while, but even that in the end wasn't enough and the writing was on the wall. We overcame that energy dampening device they employed which had temporarily turned the tide, and drove the enemy all the way to Cardassia. The rest as they say was history. As for me I did remain in Starfleet after the war, though I spent much of my career helping to rebuild those worlds that fared so badly during the war rather than exploring the galaxy at large. I remained in Starfleet for a little over five years after graduating, and set myself up in a civilian role as a supplier of commercial forcefields for things like airlocks and cargo bays. I do alright for myself, though that Ferengi bartender on Deep Space Nine did try to sue me for criminal negligence. What a joke! It was his fault for having dodgy settings on his holosuites. It's amazing what some people will do to compensate for their younger brother being Grand Nagus. I also married a few years ago and we have two small boys, me a Dad. Who'd have thought it? My friend Steve, the one who washed out the academy. Well what would you know; he became, of all things, a holonovel actor. He's apparently going to be starring as the lead for a story about humanity's early manned exploration missions to nearby stars. How ironic that he might actually get his wish to explore space to come true. As for Louisa, I'd like to say that we became an item, but it wasn't to be. I'd also like to say that things turned alright for her in the end but tragically it didn't. Shortly before the battle of Cardassia she was assigned to a Klingon staging point in what had been the old Demilitarized zone on the front lines. The transport she was on to take her to her squadron to their assigned vessel was hit head on by a cargo transport driven by a Klingon soldier worse for wear by bloodwine. She was seriously injured and had to go into intensive care on a nearby field hospital ship. She would never return and she left us on the day the female changeling signed the articles of surrender. There's not a day goes by that I don't miss her and think about her. She deserved to see the peace that came from such a terrible war, not to die such a senseless death like that. I may not have been Starfleets finest, or had perhaps reached the heights of Captain Picard, but I remain proud of my time in Starfleet, and on reflection I'm glad I didn't actually go through with the resignation. I think we owe it to Louisa and all those who paid the ultimate price to preserve a free and happy society to try and o the best wee can, and to help each other out. I for one can't think of a better way to repay their sacrifices, and honour their memories with our actions. Because even if I can rise to the occasion when it's needed, then perhaps there is hope for all of us after all.


End file.
